Allotmentation, allotmenteering…??

So, I’m now an allotment holder. But I’m unclear on the terminology. Does that make me an Allotmenter, an Allotmentist, an Allotment Practitioner, or something I’ve not yet thought of? I’m sure I’ll have many more questions over the coming months (and years, if I manage to keep the Allotmentation going). The burning issue, though, is one which worries me on a daily basis.

Bodily functions.

It is a well known fact that the majority of Allotmentists are men. As such, they have (literally) a built in advantage in that they are able to ‘pee on the move’ with minimal need for preparation or forethought. However, how do Allotmentationers of the female variety get by? So far, I’ve held it in until I’ve got home. My allotment, you see, is not of the upmarket variety with toilets provided, and we are surprisingly short of bushes behind which one might achieve a certain  degree of privacy (except for clumps of stinging nettles, and I’ve never been the most daring thrillseeker in the world). So really, how do I cope? Men are advised to pee on their compost heaps, to encourage faster biodegrading of the ‘organic matter’, but it would take a far more brazen spirit than I to climb up and then squat upon the heap of horse manure which passes, at present, as my compost heap.

As far as I can see it, I have a couple of options. 1. Develop greater bladder strength (although I do pretty well, especially after two children!). 2. Build myself a small cubicle over part of a compost heap, to use as an open air toilet. 3. Buy my shed, put up curtains and buy a Shewee. Then discreetely dispose of contents of bottle onto compost heap in nonchalant manner.

Decisions, decisions. As you can tell, this issue has been occupying my mind for some weeks now, and I still haven’t reached a satisfactory conclusion! It’s all very well if I were gardening in a remote field with only cows or sheep for company. But allotmenteering with many gentlemen around, only two of whom were my side of sixty, makes the issue somewhat more difficult to resolve.

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Socks

I’ve been knitting and crocheting regularly and consistently for some time now, but the next project I plan to take on is a pair of socks for myself. I’ve never made a pair of socks before, and so I’d love some advice please! I’ve looked on Ravelry, and there are so many patterns to choose from that I’m quite lost!

So, to all sock knitters, what thickness of yarn should I use? Indeed, what sort of yarn should I choose? DPNs, or circular needles? And can anyone recommend an easy pattern for me to try out the first time? Please help!

I’ll be very grateful for any and all advice!

Quick question…

…do any of you think that I could be allergic to chickens or pigs?

I’ve been having various blood tests recently, which show that I’m allergic to something, but the doctor can’t put her finger on what. Jo said that I should ask whether it could be pigs or chickens, given that I frequently cuddle members of both species when I spend time at the farm. I didn’t really think anything of it, until this evening when I’ve got a really runny nose (sorry if that’s too much information!), a sinusy type headache (seems to be focussed on the front of my forehead and behind my nose) and a general feeling that something’s not quite right. Or am I being over-sensitive to my symptoms, and just tired from a busy day, headachey after unaccustomed time in the sunshine (I did have a headscarf protecting my head from the worst of the sun) and sniffly after moving the straw from pig ark to pig ark?

Any answers/advice?

Cheers!

Saturday’s thought for the day

A year or two ago, Cardiff set about implementing a new organisation of refuse collection, asking that we, the Cardiff residents, sort our waste into recyclable, garden and food waste and any other waste (three separate collections).

wheelie bins

My question for the day is (asked in all seriousness, I’m not having a laugh, I really want to know!), what happens if a bin man (/refuse collector/waste and recycling operative or whatever their job titles properly are!) is colour blind? Is he able to do the job, or has he been reassigned to different areas rather than having to struggle with bin collections?

Answers on a postcard (or in the comments for you modern types!) please!