If you write a blog, and if you are as interested* in the statistics as I am (*for ‘interested’, substitute ‘mildly obsessed’ at your pleasure) you will know that you can see the search terms that people use to reach your mutterings. I am often surprised and amused by some of the things that people type into search engines and manage to follow through to my site. I sometimes type the same things into Google to work out how they have reached me, but usually with no success. So, I thought I would share some of my favourites from recent days and weeks, see what you make of them all!
“pig baby congratulations cards” – first of all, pig babies are called piglets, and second, if you are referring to a human baby, please don’t tell the parents that you think it looks like a pig – it is guaranteed to upset!
“david tennant and condoms” – eeeewwww, what are you thinking? Does this LOOK like the sort of site which would cater to this search request?? Move along!
“branagh or tennant hamlet” – Tennant, every time, of course! He’s cuter, and does ‘mad’ better!
“doctor who obsessed” – no no no, that’s my son, not me. And he doesn’t have a blog (yet), although I will pass along all well-meaning comments!
“grapple jam recipe” – Yay! I may be on my way to getting my own word in general use! I made grapple jam a couple of years ago – a very flavourful mix of grape and apple, of course.
“crochet my hand writing” – I would if I could, but I can’t, sorry.
“buckingham palace plan” – floor plan? Plan of what? I hope this is not linked to anything unsavoury!
“words to express excitement” – Woohoo! Yeehah! Weyhey! and Yippedeedoodah! spring to mind!
However, my mother’s blog routinely gets visits from people following much stranger search engine requests, such as “hardest granny”, “granny sex”, “salsa dancing granny” and “two grannies off to europe on bicycles” – she gets all the best ones!