I’m a worrier. I worry about every eventuality for pretty much every situation. I have a very active imagination, which lets me see many potential outcomes for any decision I make.
I worry a lot about what people think, and it doesn’t matter how many times someone says to me that I shouldn’t, I can’t help it. It’s how I am, and I just have to learn to deal with it, rather than letting these thoughts overwhelm my mind.
For instance, last week I couldn’t do something for a friend that would have helped them out. Not a major thing, but even so, it bothered me. When I worry about this type of thing, I tend to run the potential worst-case-scenario, argumentative, full of conflict conversation in my head. You know the one, where I apologise for not having the time/ability to do as asked, and the other person tells me that I’m an awful friend and deserve to die a lonely death! Yes, the imaginary conversation does sometimes take that turn. When, in reality, not one of my friends has the capacity (I hope!) or the will to be as horrible as that, and none of them have ever berated me if I am unable to carry out a request.
I’ve often been told that I shouldn’t care what anyone thinks of me. I don’t believe that this is true, as I think that this would make me a more selfish and less considerate person, but I wanted to ask this: Do you think it is better for someone to be a worrier, like me, or not to give a damn what anyone thinks? I’m talking extremes, now, rather than the normal, half way in between which I imagine most people attain. I’m sure that not giving a damn would be better for my blood pressure and overall mental health, but probably not so good for my friendships.
At which part of the spectrum would you place yourselves? Where on the spectrum do you think is best to be (not necessarily the same thing at all)? Have you changed as you’ve got older or as things in your lives have changed e.g. marriage and children? Is it possible to make yourself care more or less about the opinion of others?