A glossary of alternative words

Do you know how, when you have a small child, they often get words wrong in their quest to learn to speak our glorious and descriptive language? And do you know the feeling (common to most parents, I expect) that there are certain words that you don’t want them to learn to say properly? Well, we are at this stage with Cheeky now (he is four and a half years old). He speaks very well for his age (so I am told) but in the course of his efforts to speak like all the grown ups around him he does make the occasional amusing mistake. And, being the mean people we are, we glory in these small errors and intend to try to remember them for the rest of our lives! I don’t think that I’ll be quite as mean as my Mum and Dad, who still remind me about the first time I read ‘swamp’ when I was about four and pronounced it to rhyme with ‘tramp’ rather than ‘stomp’! (I think that was a perfectly natural mistake to make, and they should look at the bigger picture; i.e. that I was able to read aloud at that point, rather than still attempting to humiliate me with the story TWENTY FIVE YEARS LATER! OK, I feel better for getting that off my chest!!)

However, in the interests of perpetuating humiliation through the generations, here is a (non-exhaustive) lists of some of Cheeky’s more amusing faux pas, together with translations!

  1. Nibbles = nipples! As in “girls have boobies, boys have nibbles” – his definitive account of the difference between the sexes!
  2. Familiating = humiliating. Not sure where he’s had this from, but wherever he’s learned it, he can use it in the proper context, even if his pronunciation is a bit off!
  3. Forgetti = spaghetti – I love asking him what he wants for tea, as his favourite meals are lasagne and ‘forgetti bolognese’!
  4. Dark Vader = Darth Vader. An obvious one, but for some reason it still brings a smile to our faces and we don’t look forward to the day when he realises the correct way to say it!
  5. Snot Chocky Chocks = ‘Chop Suey Chooks’ – this is a children’s TV programme that they watch at the weekends, but I think his version of the title is far more entertaining!

The other reason that I wanted to list these little anomalies in my son’s use of the English language is because my memory is getting so terrible that I’m in danger of forgetting them as soon as he stops using them. And I love hearing his little mistakes. It probably makes me a bad mother for not correcting him, and allowing him to go on making the mistakes, but I think I can live with myself!


7 Responses

  1. That is so adorable. I love the Forgetti.

    When my nephews were younger if the doorbell rang they used to run to the front door screaming “Whobody at the door”. Too cute. Has now become a catchphrase throughout the extended family.

  2. Made me smile. My children used to talk about hookhangers and not coathangers, black kermit (blackcurrant) and letting the tea bruise (brew).

    Still use some of their phrases and they’re 29 and 31!

  3. Wow. Are you this insecure that you have to post things about your kids on the internet? Do you have a social life? Whens the last time you had attention? Do your parents not love you? What kind of creep goes on a site called jenniepowell.wordpress.com. who the hell would even search this? Why would anyone think this is adorable? Leechbabe you are a freaking moron for encouraging this person. Both of you need to grow up and make some friends. Stop sitting on your butt all day and typing retarded things that no one even cares about. GET A FREAKING LIFE PLEASE!
    by the way… I was at school looking for alternate words to express excitement. If anyone has any suggestions it would be greatly appreciated.

    Thank you =D

  4. Hey Jen, if you’re lucky and treat your kids right, one day they’ll grow up to be Mike!

  5. Well Mike, aren’t you the little ray of sunshine, brightening up even the dullest winter’s day! I’m terribly sorry that I forgot you are my editor in chief, and I can’t believe that I failed to pass my writings to you for your prior approval before I published. Oh no, that’s right, this is MY blog, and therefore only I decide what is posted here.

    But as blogs promote discussion, I will answer your inane questions, despite the fact that trolls should be ignored rather than encouraged. However, I’m a charitable person and I’d like to believe that once you’ve passed puberty you might develop into a reasonably pleasant human being, so I’m prepared to give you the benefit of the doubt. No, I’m not insecure, and the reason that I publish anecdotes about my children is that I am part of a network of parents who blog. We enjoy reading about each other’s experiences, as we would enjoy hearing about the exploits of our friends’ families. Umm, you’ve just given me plenty of attention, so thank you for seeing to that. Yes, my parents do love me, thank you for asking, and regularly visit this site, so I’m glad that they are the sort of people who wouldn’t be hurt by your imbecilic comments (otherwise I might get REALLY cross, which is something to see). As to the sort of creep who visits my blog, and even follows a search engine reference here, well, welcome Mike, if the cap fits you may certainly wear it! Leechbabe is most certainly not a moron, she is a friend of mine who I have been most lucky to meet through this website, and at that point you crossed the line into moronic territory yourself.

    As to alternative words to express excitement, may I suggest that you have a look in a useful book called a thesaurus. If that is too difficult for you, feel free to follow this link, http://www.thefreedictionary.com/excitement, which may be of assistance. Once you are done there, may I suggest that you think before you type, and try to consider people’s feelings before posting pointless and asinine comments that serve no purpose other than to boost my blog statistics (and for that I thank you).

  6. Hmmm Mike I would say if you are asking for help then to perhaps do it more politely next time.

  7. i remember when my daughter was about 2 1/2 yrs. old.i played softball with a local league.we were leaving our house one sunday morning on our way to a softball game.when my daughter came running out with my cleats exclaiming,”daddy dont forget your clits”.my wife and i laugh to this day about it,20 years later.also the first time she ate a chocolate eclair,she remarked,”mmmm this is a good chocolate e clit”.

    oh yea,before i forget.”MIKE,SHOVE IT”

    thanx for letting me share,jim

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